


Haikyuu! Heartbreaks

by sophieojiro



Series: Haikyuu! Heartbreaks [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Cheating, Dare, Depressed Tsukishima Kei, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Heartbreak, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio Friendship, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Insecure Azumane Asahi, Jealous Kuroo Tetsurou, Major Character Injury, Nervous Azumane Asahi, Reader-Insert, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad Yamaguchi Tadashi, Suicide, Teen Angst, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, haikyuu angst, sad as hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25807480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophieojiro/pseuds/sophieojiro
Summary: Hey yall! are you ready to get sadTM?? me neither! This is a collection of stories, all angst, with different haikyuu boys
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Reader, Bokuto Koutarou/Reader, Ennoshita Chikara/Reader, Hinata Shouyou/Reader, Kageyama Tobio/Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader, Sawamura Daichi/Reader, Tanaka Ryuunosuke/Reader, Tsukishima Kei/Reader, Ukai Keishin/Reader, Yamaguchi Tadashi/Reader
Series: Haikyuu! Heartbreaks [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872358
Comments: 24
Kudos: 174





	1. Introduction!

Hey guys! welcome to "sophie making you sad!"

This is a collection of haikyuu stories, all angst, that can range from death, cheating, injuries, etc.  
I'm really excited to write this, i love angst! okay ill shut up now

E N J O Y <3


	2. Disappointment-Kageyama X Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> y/n Is a cheerleader. She takes pride in that. But why doesn't kageyama?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST ANGST ANGST  
> this was really fun to write, i hope you enjoy!  
> oh, and cheerleading is awesome, don't let anyone tell you differently

“Spirit! We got it! Victory we won!”

You shook your poms in the air, smiling to the crowd. The sports team you were cheering for had just won their big game. The crowd was ecstatic and your fellow team mates were cheerful too. You smiled and chanted, just like the other cheerleaders.  
But your smile was fake.

Five times. Your boyfriend, Kageyama, had missed out on five of your games. Each one, he promised to go. Now you were standing on concrete, scanning the bleachers once again looking for Tobio’s jet black hair.   
He was nowhere to be found, once again.   
Inside, you felt that familiar weight of disappointment, but on the outside, you portrayed that happy exterior you always kept up. The smile never reached your eyes though. The world seemed muffled, and it felt like you had once again ended up alone.

No tears dared to leave your eyes, or at least until you got in your car. The game was over and the crowd had faded out to none, and your team was dismissed. You said your goodbye to the girls, and climbed in your car.   
You turned on the radio and fuck. It was you and Kageyama’s song. And the pain bubbled back up to the surface, bringing up weeks of disappointment with it. Tears spilled over, and you sunk lower in the driver's seat.

Did he just stop caring? Why did you mean so little to him? You sobbed in the parking lot of a football stadium, crying out into a steering wheel. Your mother’s voice nagged in your head.

“A good relationship requires equal efforts y/n!”

You shut her out by slamming the music off, and driving away quickly.   
A quick glance at your cheer uniform in the passenger's seat, and a quick reminder to yourself, 

“He loves you.”

He loves you. Right? 

\----------------------------------

A couple days later, you and Tobio hung out in the volleyball club room, eating lunch. He kept on looking you in the eyes for some reason. Depending on how you responded to his Karasuno rants, his stare would change from endearing to annoyed. His blue black eyes managed to shift from kind to ones of irritation so quickly. 

Fortunately, they seemed gentle now. The two of you babbled on about school, Hinata irking Tobio, and small things that made you giggle. Practice started soon, so you and Kageyama ate as quickly as you could. You gathered your trash and threw it away in the club trash can, picking yourself up off the floor.  
“Im serious! You can’t be flunking out on me now!” you giggled, turning to face your boyfriend.   
“I’m trying! I swear!” Kageyama chuckled. You rolled your eyes and laughed, pulling him up to stand. You straightened out his midnight colored hair, and kissed him on the cheek. 

“I gotta get going, see you later Kags.” You turned to leave the club room until he called out to you. “Hey uh, you’re coming to my game tomorrow right?” Kageyama said, his voice standing dominance over yours. You fiddled with your fingers.

“Oh uh, actually, about that,” you started, avoiding eye contact with Tobio. “I already have plans with my family.” Kageyama’s face morphed into a look of anger. He was most definitely pissed that you, his girlfriend, would put something before him.   
“What the hell y/n?!? These games are important to me!” His tone was clearly insulted. His eyebrows furrowed and he crossed his arms.   
“What?? It’s one game Tobio!” You said, semi-shouting. Did he not realize that he put zero effort in your games?

“It’s not one game! Every game is important to me! I thought you knew me well enough to know that.” He shouted, making you jump. “Or maybe you don’t know me like I thought you did.” His voice was condescending, yet somewhat disappointed.

Disappointment. 

That’s a feeling you’ve felt a lot recently. Your nails dug into your palms. How come he gets to be disappointed and you don’t? White hot anger built up in your stomach.  
Kageyama looked at you like the way he looked at a failed volleyball play. That look was the last straw. 

“Don’t look at me like that Tobio. Why are you pretending like you show up to my games? Why are you acting like you give two shits about my hobbies!”   
You lashed out at Kageyama, pointing at him and yelling. Your whole body was angry now. Kageyama let out a frustrated laugh.  
“Because I don’t! Okay! I don’t give a shit about cheerleading y/n, no one does. I'm not wasting my time at a fucking football game to watch you fumble around in that slutty ass uniform! You look like a whore y/n! That’s what’s going through everyone in that crowd's head.”   
Kageyama screamed at you, putting aside his volume, or his cruelty.   
“You know volleyball is more important. Quit acting like you don’t know that! I play a sport! An actual sport! Being a slut for an audience isn’t a sport.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks. The man you loved with your whole heart spit venom at you, no remorse in the process. His verbal attacks hurt you more than any injury, any broken friendship, any type of rejection. You looked at him in the eyes, hoping that he’d show a fraction of sympathy towards you,  
But he didn’t.

His eyes looked aggravated. His brows knitted together, like he was staring at something he really despised. He exhaled a small ‘tch’ and kicked at the floor.  
“Of course you’re crying. I can’t believe you.” He chuckled, and picked up his bags. “Oh, and don’t call them your games, y/n. No one goes to watch you. It’s not just me.” 

Kageyama hiked his duffel bag over his shoulder, and made his way toward the club door. He showed no signs of caring about anything he said. Before he could leave the club room, you stopped him with your voice.  
“I can’t do this anymore Kageyama.”  
His last name felt heavy and bitter on your tongue.   
“I can’t love you if it’s going to hurt like this.”  
Your voice broke. You and Tobio stood facing back to back now. Even though you couldn’t see his face, you knew his exact expression. You knew he was doing his signature scowl, the one where he looked like he really hated whatever he was mad at. 

“Yeah no kidding. I never loved you.”

After saying that, Kageyama pushed the club door open, only to be greeted by the Karasuno team standing outside of the door. They must have showed up for practice, coming to change, but could hear you and Tobio’s argument.  
The boy’s showed an array of facial expressions, none positive. 

As Kageyama left the club room, the team watched him leave the gym in disgust. Tanaka had to be held back by Daichi, shouting curses at the setter. Tanaka was fuming. Asahi and Suga just seemed sad for you, muttering something about him being an ass.Tsukishima was on his way to find Ukai, and Yamaguchi was following him.

You looked at all of them standing in the doorway, nothing left to say.   
“Oh what a piece of shit! That fucking asshole!” Tanaka was basically barking, shouting at the door about how shitty of a man Kageyama was. You darted your eyes to the floor, running through the crowd of volleyball players.   
“Hey y/n-” Daichi called out, but you ran past him, out of the gym door. You darted to your car, slamming the door shut.

It was almost funny, you know. It’s like everything always brought you back here, to hyperventilate, alone, in the driver's seat. You cried out, cursing Kageyama for breaking your heart. No matter what he would say, or do, or how badly he hurt you, you’d still love him. You slammed your fist down on the car seat, asking god why he hates you. Sobs turned to sniffles, and you pulled out of the parking lot.

You drove yourself back to your house, only to quit cheer, and only to continue loving the man who never cared.


	3. Happy Anniversary-Yamaguchi x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You break Tadashi Yamaguchi's heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS HURT ASKJKLKS   
> i'd like to say that Tsukishima would NEVER do this he loves his friend too much.  
> Yamaguchi you deserve the world

Tadashi Yamaguchi loved you.

He loved your smile, the way you spelt your name, the face you made when he kissed you by surprise. It’s safe to say that Tadashi loved you more than he’d loved anything before.  
The Karasuno pinch server couldn’t get you out of his head. The day was valentine's day, which happened to be your 6 month anniversary. 

The two of you sat together at lunch, with Tsuki, Hinata, and Kageyama. Tadashi slinked his arm around your shoulder, only to be greeted with a cold response by you. He shrugged it off, you were never the affectionate type.   
“So do you guys have any plans tonight?” Hinata spoke, food stuffed in his cheeks.   
“No not really, girls are scared of me.” Kageyama said, sounding semi-serious. That got a laugh out of everyone, except Tsukishima of course. 

“What about you Tsuki?” Yamaguchi asked, the blonde annoyed, as always. Tsukishima pushed up his glasses. “Valentine’s day is stupid and you and y/n are stupider.” This time Kei was the only one laughing. He glanced up at you, and you smiled at him. Surprisingly, he smiled back.

The sight was very strange to everyone, especially Yamaguchi. He, Tsukishima’s best friend, could rarely get a smile out of him. But it was in Tadashi’s timid nature to brush off the little things.   
You turned to face Yamaguchi, taking in his appearance. He was a simple kind of beautiful, with soft freckles and goldish green eyes. He always looked so gentle, in your eyes at least, all the time.

You quickly collected your trash, darting your eyes away from Tadashi’s face. “Uh, see you later I guess.” You said, quickly running off to the trash can. Tadashi watched you walk away, cheeks a shade of pink. 

“She’s really something, Tsuki.” Yamaguchi said, watching you walk away, eyes filled with adoration. Tsukishima shrugged.   
“Sure, I guess.” The blonde said in his usual, annoyed tone. Kei laid his head down on his hand, exhaling. Yamaguchi pouted. Something was amiss.   
“Hey Tsuki, are you okay? Do you want my animal crackers?” Yamaguchi asked, handing Tsukishima his bag of snacks. Tsuki slid it back to him.  
“I’m fine.” Tsukishima put on his headphones and sunk back into his chair. Yamaguchi felt like he was being lied to, the middle blocker acting colder than usual.

“Are you sure?” Tadashi asked, his voice soft and his thumbs twiddling. “Yeah.” Kei said, bluntly, ending that interaction.   
Yamaguchi shook off Tsukishima’s rudeness, I mean come on, Tsuki was always an asshole. The green locked boy searched his brain for something to say.

“What are you listening to?” Tadashi scooted forward to get a glance at Kei’s phone, only for him to abruptly stand up and jerk his phone away. Tsukishima muttered something about privacy as he walked away, leaving the Karasuno pinch server to sit alone with his thoughts.

Tadashi’s thoughts grew gloomy, his best friend now irritated at him. Then a lightbulb flashed!  
“Maybe they’re planning a surprise for you!”   
The thought brought a bright smile to Yamaguchi’s face, making any trace of negative thoughts disappear.

God, Tadashi Yamaguchi loved you.

Your boyfriend couldn’t stop smiling throughout class. Six months into your relationship, and he still was in awe at how a guy like him was with a girl like you. He was shy and pretty quiet, and there were seemingly a million other guys better than him, but you liked him.   
And that fact made Yamaguchi ridiculously happy.

He managed to contain his joy throughout volleyball practice, though he did hit Nishinoya in the head with his serve. On most days that’d make his anxiety skyrocket, but today it was manageable.   
Practice just finished, and the boys were cleaning up the court. Tadashi was unclipping the volleyball net, when a certain bald headed wing spiker called out to him.

“Hey lover boy!” Tanaka shouted, making his way towards Yamaguchi.  
“Oh, uh hey Tanaka, how’s it going?” He asked, a tinge of confusion in his voice.  
“Good good, hey uh, how are you and y/n?” The second year asked.  
The corners of Yamaguchi’s mouth crept into a smile.  
“Amazing! Uh well,” Tadashi regretted how enthusiastically loud he said that. “Good. We’re good. Today’s our anniversary you know?” Yams once again fiddled with his hands. Tanaka nodded along with the conversation.

“Oh! I have a question.” Ryunosuke perked up his head. “So uh, I already bought y/n this necklace, but what other stuff do girls like?” Tanaka’s face lit up. He must've taken the question as a compliment, assuming Yamaguchi thought he had experience with girls.  
“Oh well you’ve come to the right man freckle face!” Yamaguchi cringed at that nickname. “Girls love a man who’s chivalrous. Doesn’t matter the circumstances, be the perfect gentleman.”   
Tanaka flashed finger guns at Yamaguchi and left him alone, giving him the chance to leave the gym.

Yamaguchi hopped on his bike and drove down to the nearest store, scanning the aisles for flower bouquets. He was looking for queen anne’s lace, your favorite kind of flower, but alas, none was to be seen. Slightly disappointed, he grabbed your favorite candy, a basket, and headed to the checkout. 

As usual, Yamaguchi fumbled around with his wallet, but he managed to survive the checkout counter, containing his anxious stutter. He left the shop, walking back to his bike, until he spotted something.  
A patch of queen anne’s lace in the wild.  
Tadashi smiled to himself, and picked the flowers out of the dirt, tossing them into the basket, and biking his way home.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey hot stuff, how ya feeling?”

Yamaguchi talked to his reflection, in a voice much deeper than his own. He was rehearsing, how he’d greet you tonight, but was failing miserably.

“Dang it Tadashi! You sound stupid!”

Yamaguchi yelled at the bathroom mirror, cringing at his poor attempts of imitating Tanaka. He pulled at his suit collar, the tie nearly choking him to death. The whole outfit was quite uncomfortable, but his mom insisted that he looked handsome.

Yamaguchi didn’t notice how late it was, the time reading 7:35pm. You had told him to not show up before 8, but the anxious boy was worried he’d leave you waiting for you.

“Mom! I know! I love you, bye now.” Yamaguchi was halfway out the door, yelling his goodbyes at his equally anxious mother. He walked down his doorsteps, onto his bike, basket in hand. He spent an hour on writing you a card, but the waste of time was ok because it was you. 

The cool breeze of the countryside air blew against his face, the street lights illuminated the asphalt, the night was simply gorgeous. Tadashi rehearsed what he was going to say to you in his head, trying to shake the thought of him stuttering. 

“Y/n I really really like you, in a way that I’ve never liked someone before. I like you in a way that makes me terrified, all day long, that someone would take you away from me. And it’s so scary, knowing that a person so pretty has the ability to terrify me like that. But it’s a good scare! A scared that makes me smile a little brighter, serve a little higher, hide a little less. Thank you for scaring me y/n. I love you.”

That’s what he wanted to say to you, finally looking you in the eyes.

Tadashi pulled up to your driveway, parking his bike up against the brick wall. He held the basket of assorted gifts in his arms, trying to contain his anxiety. Yamaguchi straightened out his suit jacket, approaching your front door. “Just relax Tadashi.” The voice in his head rang out, reminding the boy that he'd approached you a million times. 

Yamaguchi brought his hand up to the door, ready to knock, until he heard a noise.

A giggle.   
Your giggle.

Confused, Yamaguchi peaked through the closest window. He thought you would be watching television, or scrolling through your phone, but no.

“Tsuki!” You said, pushing the boy’s chest away in a playful manner. Tsukishima placed his hand on your cheek, bringing you in closer.  
“Shut up.” The blonde said, slamming his lips into yours.  
He kissed you.  
And you kissed him back.   
You kissed him the way you kissed Yamaguchi. 

Like a bad car accident, Yamaguchi felt sick. But he couldn’t look away. No matter how bad it hurt, and how disgusted he felt, he couldn’t turn away from the window. He covered his mouth, making sure he didn’t scream or puke. His eyes widened as the scene escalated for the worse.

Tsukishima kissed you harder, running his hands through your hair. You moaned into his kiss, reaching behind your back to unclip your bra. Tsukishima grinned and moved his hands down to your thighs, touching you in a way Yamaguchi never dared to. You changed positions to be straddling Tsukishima’s lap, helping him take his shirt off-

The image was too much for Yamaguchi. His best friend, no, his brother, was doing things to you that Tadashi was far too bashful to ever attempt. It hurt, it hurt more than anything had ever hurt before.  
Yamaguchi backed away from the window.   
He swiftly turned around, kicking at rocks that weren’t there. His heart really did split in two. 

Tadashi Yamaguchi loved you. He really did. And no matter how shitty it was that you were making him feel this way, he couldn’t find it in his broken heart to be mad at you. He was mad at himself.

Mad that he let you slip away,  
Mad that he let you lie to him,  
Mad that he ever believed he had something Tsukishima didn’t.

The pinch server fumbled around with the ribbon on the basket he made, looking for something to do with his hands. He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch Tsukishima. But he knew he’d never do that to anyone.   
Yamaguchi got back on his bike, spitting at the concrete below him. 

Tadashi pedaled off down the street, finally letting his tears fall. First one tear, then two, then streams of frustrated sobs left his mouth.  
“Dammit y/n.” Tadashi said quietly into the late night wind, lip quivering as he shuddered out more cries.  
Was he not good enough for you? Was it because Tsukishima was better at volleyball? Why did you hurt people the way you did?  
Questions ran through his mind, his tears blurring his vision.

“Dammit y/n!” Yamaguchi screamed into the night, trying to remember how he coped with being this alone.   
Trying to remember how he lived before falling so desperately in love with you.


	4. Selfish-Tsukishima x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima's been acting differently lately. You summed it up as him just being an asshole, but its more than that.  
> TW!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is inspired by a depressed tsuki theory i see alot  
> ouch hurt to write  
> MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING FOR DEPRESSION/SUICIDE  
> if you're having dark thoughts, please talk to someone. you can dm me on insta! @sophiafrancis.xo i'd love to help my babies <3
> 
> anyways, enjoy.

“Hey Tsuki, pass me some gum.”

You tapped on to Tsukishima’s shoulder, earning an eye roll from him but he eventually caved and gave you a piece. You and Karasuno’s favorite stickler had become friends over shared interests, shared hatreds, and a love for dinosaurs. Both of you were the type to get annoyed easily, but he never really found you that obnoxious.  
Tsukishima was of course, an ass to you, but you found it oddly endearing. Kei found you arrogant, but the arguments were amusing to you. Tsuki found your pout hilarious, but he’d never tell you that.

The class drifted on, and you tried to pay attention, Tsukishima’s face contorted back to that look of nothingness. He’d always been cold, but you and Yamaguchi had been somewhat worried. Tsukishima had struggled with finding passion for anything, but it felt like recently he’d given up on caring in general. Yamaguchi told you that he didn’t even mock Hinata anymore.   
It was safe to say you were concerned.

You tapped your pencil on your desk, eyeing the clock.  
“Dammit Math!” the test in front of you would most certainly drop your grade. You squinted at the girl in front of you’s paper and tried your hardest to cheat. Answering your plea’s, the bell rang, sending students rushing into the halls. Tsukishima stood up, putting his books back into his bag and walking towards the door, until you stopped him by grabbing his shoulder.

“Hey, Tsuki! Wait up!” You yelled. The middle blocker sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets.   
“What do you want Y/N?” He said, snarky as ever. You sped up your pace, unable to catch up to his long legs.   
“Do you want to maybe uh, study after school?” You asked, hiking your backpack up onto your shoulders.  
“Fine.” Tsukishima muttered, turning into his next class. Fine wasn’t really an answer, but you took it as “I’ll meet you in the usual spot.”

The rest of the day passed you by. You didn’t really pay attention in your classes, You never did. You left your last class of the day, saying bye to a couple of your friends.   
You walked down the hallway, making your way to the spot Tsukishima would be waiting at, until someone called out your name.  
“Y/n!!” Yamaguchi yelled out, running up to you, out of breath. You whipped your head around to see a worn out Tadashi panting.

“Hey Yamaguchi, whats up?” You asked, a confused expression on your face. The boy caught his breath and rubbed his hand behind his neck.  
“Oh, uh, you’re going to see Tsuki right?” He asked, running a hand through his green locks. You nodded, confusion written all over your face.  
“Great um, can you give this to him? It’s really important. Tell him it’s from me, and…” Yamaguchi stopped and looked at his feet. He handed you a folded piece of paper. His hand was shaky as usual, but this time with concern, not anxiety.

“Me and people who miss him.” The pinch server said, matter of factly.   
“Sure?” You were still confused, but didn’t question it. Tadashi smiled at you and ran off, waving as he left.  
You stood in confusion, paper in hand. That whole interaction was strange, but you continued to walk towards the spot you and Kei had agreed to study at.

Tadashi never said you couldn’t look at the paper. And you, y/n, were shamefully nosey. So you took a peep. And what you read wasn’t exciting or drama, it just made you sad.

“Dear Tsukishima,   
Please come back to volleyball practice. The whole team misses you, and it’s not the same without you. I'm always here to talk, please stop by my store any time. - Coach Ukai, and the whole Karasuno team.“

Tsukishima hadn’t been showing up to practice?!? You picked up your jaw and shoved the paper in your pocket. A mixture of fear, disappointment, and anger boiled in your stomach. What was wrong with him? You shook the thought away and sped walked to Kei.

The crisp leaves of an overgrown tree fell onto the soft green grass. Tsukishima sat on a bench underneath a Japanese Beech tree, nose deep in his phone. The scenery was stunning, and Tsuki looked so serene, something you didn’t see enough out of him. 

“Hey, four eyes!”

You shouted, making him look up at you. He took off his headphones and moved his bag, giving you a space to sit. You plopped down next to him, pulling out your books and papers.   
“So what do you want to study for?” You asked, turning your head to look him in the eyes.  
“I don’t care.” Tsukishima said bluntly. He didn’t reciprocate the eye contact, staring off into the distance. You chewed on your cheek, silently begging him to show an ounce of care. 

“How about math?” You asked, voice chipper as ever. Tsukishima pulled out his math textbook, flipping to the page you were on. You suggested studying the material you learned yesterday, and Tsuki responded with a grunt. What was wrong with him? He didn’t seem mad, he just felt far away. 

The two of you studied in semi silence, asking for help every once in a while. Scribbling away at numbers and equations, frustration boiled in your stomach. You were frustrated at the problems but also frustrated at Kei. You couldn’t shake how selfish it was for him to shut everyone out the way he was. He had friends who relied on him, and now you all were left in the dark. You slammed your pencil down.

“I hate this stuff!” you huffed, rolling your eyes at the tree above you. Tsukishima scribbled in silence, itching your last nerve.   
“What is the matter with you!” You punched him in the shoulder, getting his attention. He looked confused, and slightly angry.  
“What the fuck?!” He snapped back at you, scooting away, looking at you with that face he makes when he gets offended.

You were fuming. You stood up and slammed your notebook on the bench. Looking down at the blonde, you let out your feelings.  
“Kei Tsukishima, what the fuck is up with you! It’s like every time I talk to you I'm speaking to a shell of my best friend.” You yelled, taking the paper out of your pocket and throwing it at him. Tsukishima uncrumpled the paper and looked at it with eyes of muted shame and guilt.

“So what is it Kei? Do you just not care about anything anymore? Or do you think you’re too good for the rest of us?” 

You spit venom at Tsukishima, a pained look on your face. It felt like someone you’d given up so much for was drifting away, and it broke your heart. Kei didn’t make eye contact and stared at the ground, but you could see the sad, far away look in his eyes.

“I care I do-” Tsukishima cut himself off by rubbing his face with his hands. “I just feel so detached from everything. I can’t be happy doing anything anymore. I'm too tired to find joy in anything y/n.” He looked up at you, pain coating his golden brown eyes. “What’s the point? Everything is annoying and meaningless and I-i” Tsuki stammered, stumbling over his words. 

“So you’re just bored of everything?”  
“No! That’s not what I meant!”  
“I get it. You’d rather live in your head than try to give a shit about anything. Bye Tsukishima, call me when you feel better..”

You picked up your bags, turning to leave. Unbeknownst to you, that would be the last thing you’d ever say to Kei Tsukishima, The middle blocker you cared so deeply for.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Silent tears dripped down your cheeks. Your eyes stared blankly at the ceiling above you, looking for a distraction.  
Three days later, Tsukishima never called. He kept to the agreement of “Call me when you feel better”. He never called you back.

Kei was gone. He’d taken his life three days later, slipping through the cracks of your hands. You’d been crying alone in your room for days, quietly cursing the world and yourself. 

“I called him selfish. I did this to him. I said he didn’t care about me anymore. I fucked up.” The thoughts of guilt ran through your head. You pushed him over the edge. You didn’t notice the obvious signs. How could you not feel guilty?   
“Y/n it’s not your fault.” Another thought lingered in your mind. “Kei was hurting for a long time. That’s why he never cared much about volleyball, despite his talent. It wasn’t your responsibility to know how he felt.”

You flipped over onto your side, tears dripping down your nose onto your mattress. It was all a lie, none of it mattered. Tsukishima, your best friend, was gone. And you couldn’t bring him back. 

Fuck feeling sorry, you lost him.   
You choked out a sob into your sheets, begging someone, anyone, to bring him back. “Fuck You!” You angrily cried into your bed, straining your voice. The last conversation you had played over and over in your mind, eating away at you. 

“I get it. You’d rather live in your head than try to give a shit about anything. Bye Tsukishima, call me when you feel better.” 

You picked up your phone and dialed Tsukishima's number. You wanted to ask him how practice went, make fun of Hinata, talk about your favorite dinosaurs, but no one answered.   
No one would ever answer again.


	5. Cruel Jokes-Hinata X Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were head over heels for Shoyo Hinata. It really did feel like he was too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruh im so sorry i haven't updated in awhile, ive been writing a bunch of bnha fics (which you should def check out just saying) so this was on the back burner for a bit. but here we go! here's some hinata x reader that was TOO accurate

You were always the type of girl who was picked last for dodgeball, never in the foreground. To say it simpler, you were unpopular. And you were okay with that. It was just a minor detail of your character.

The sky was overcast and you focused on writing down the notes for your science class. You were a Karasuno first year, trying just to make it through the day. You had a couple friends, one being Hinata, but you spent most of your time alone. 

“Hey! y/n!” Hinata waved at you, a smile on his face. Your eyes lit up, and you slammed your notebook shut.  
“Hi Hinata!” You waved back, smiling and standing from your seat. Hinata rubbed his neck and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “So, how’s your day been?” He asked. “Average. A couple girls called me names when I was walking to english, but I didn’t feel like getting angry. Yours?”

Hinata giggled, nearly jumping up and down. “Awesome! I saw Kageyama fall which was hilarious because he deserved it, and I'm stoked for volleyball! But i'm starving, do you have any snacks?” He asked, scratching his head. 

“Oh, yeah sure.” You dug a granola bar out of your bag and tossed it to Shoyo. He ripped off the wrapper and stuffed it into his mouth, scarfing it down. You chuckled at him, and picked up the wrapper.

“Well I gotta get off to practice, it was nice talking to you! Have a good day y/n.” He said, smiling at you.  
“Uh yeah, see ya!” You waved at him, slinking your bag over your shoulder. Hinata was really something. He was energetic and happy, and he always made time to talk to you. It was like he really did care.

You started to walk to your bike, looking down at the concrete. Thoughts started to emerge, thoughts that you liked but knew were far fetched. Secretly, You had grown extra fond of Shoyo. The kind of fond that made your stomach do backflips every time you saw him. 

You had a crush. A big one.

So once again, you dreamt about Hinata loving you the way you loved him throughout the day and throughout the night.

Life has started to become a rinse and repeat ordeal for you.

You’d wake up, messily get ready for school, and barely make it through the day. The classmates you owe so dreaded never got any nicer, and the teachers didn’t ever make your life easier. As always, your days were somewhat dreary, but you had him.

Shoyo would walk you to your classes once in a while, chat with you about your day, it was nice. Sometimes he’d tell you looked good, which never failed to fluster you. “This could work!” you thought. Hinata and you got along great, and if you squinted, you could see a future where Karasuno’s #10 would hold you close to him, basking you in his cologne.

He’d rub circles in your back, and tell you about how he always liked that timid girl he’d met back in highschool. Then he’d kiss you, and everything would be okay. You thought that this is what being a popular girl felt like. You finally felt wanted, and it felt great.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a regular school day, and you were walking to class with Hinata. You guys were talking about how great the season fall was, and how much you loved the atmosphere of the cooler months.

“It’s so refreshing, finally escaping the heat of summer.” You said with a smile. Hinata nervously smiled back at you. He fiddled with his hands, something you picked up on. 

“Is everything alright Shoyo?” You asked, concern in your voice. Hinata looked at the ground. 

“Yes- well,” He glanced at the autumn trees, the ones that you seemed so interested in. He took a deep breath, and for some reason, he sounded sad. “Here you go y/n.” Quickly, Shoyo put a crumpled up piece of paper in your hand, running away right after. 

“H-hey!!” You called out, to no response. Furrowing your brows, you uncrumpled the piece of notebook paper left in your palm. It was written in neat handwriting, unusual for Hinata. You started to read the note.

“Y/n. I’ve liked you for a while now, meet me at the gazebo by the school tonight. I’ll see you there.”

Your cheeks flushed and a glow grew across your face. Was this for real? It was your dreams come true! No one had ever asked you out before and you couldn’t contain your glee. 

“He likes me...He really really likes me!” You thought to yourself. Carrying the happiness of young love on your back, you made it through the rest of the school day.

Like always, you biked home. This time however, you were accompanied by a smile. You darted into your bedroom to try on every outfit you owned. Your search history was now flooded with first date outfits and men’s favorite style of clothes. 

You settled for your favorite romper, and did your makeup accordingly. Cursing at the mirror, you tried to make your hair as neat as you could, only to no avail. “It’s fine.” You told yourself. “He must like me for me.”

Gifting yourself that sprout of confidence, you headed out the door and hopped on your bike. 

The ride to the school’s gazebo was one filled with anxiety. Every single outcome flooded your mind, making you nervously shift in your bicycle seat. 

You pulled up to the school, parking your bike. It was quiet. Too quiet. The note said he’d be waiting, but there was not a single sign of Shoyo Hinata. Anxiety looming over you, you took a seat at the bench under the gazebo, fiddling with your thumbs. The reminder that Hinata was a busy boy played on repeat in your mind as you waited longer.

It was only 20 minutes.  
Then an hour,  
And finally a second hour passes.

The sky began to pour down rain. You shivered, feeling agitated and disappointed. The frown on your face grew bigger when you stood up to bike home and wallow in your sadness. Now you were drenched, and Hinata was nowhere to be seen. 

Right before you began to peddle away, a voice called out for you.

“Y/n!!” 

Hinata was standing on the sidewalk, waving you down. His orange tufts of hair were soaked, and his smile seemed to falter when you turned around.   
“What the hell Shoyo?! I’ve been waiting for hours.” You walked up to him, throwing your hands up. He flinched, and looked at you with a face you couldn’t distinguish. It was like a hybrid of pity and shame. 

Hinata rubbed his neck. “I’m really sorry y/n! Practice ran late and I-” He was cut off by an anonymous chuckle behind him. Something was going on, you could sense that. Hinata stuffed his hands in his pockets, brushing off...whatever that noise was. He held out a bento box for you, which you gladly accepted.

The two of you, both soaking wet, walked back to the gazebo holding bento boxes. When Hinata motioned for you to sit down, you noticed how different he was acting. Like a little kid caught in a lie. 

“I packed you mochi. I know it’s your favorite.” He pushed off the lid of his box and picked at a bed of rice.   
“Thank you, now I wish I would’ve brought you something.” You said, chuckling lightly. Shoyo laughed with you. 

Stuffing mochi into your cheeks, you looked at Hinata with that familiar admiration. “It’s alright, I was the one late.” He said, giggling. This struck a chord with you. Why was he late?

“So what went down at practice that caused you to be gone for 2 freaking hours?” You asked, wiping your hands with a napkin. Hinata’s eyes shifted and he gripped the table.

“I uh- It was j-just-” He stumbled over his words, avoiding eye contact.  
Then the laughter returned.  
“W-what’s going on Shoyo?” You said, a tinge of pain and confusion echoed from your voice.  
“Nothing! Nothing is going on!” Hinata’s voice squeaked, an obvious tell that he was lying.  
He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. Achingly, he looked up at you, his eyes looking depleted of that cheer he always seemed to carry around with him.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked you to come here.” Hinata stood up abruptly. He collected his trash and made a beeline to leave, only to be stopped by you gripping his wrist.

“Tell me what’s going on! I just want to help you Hinata!” You raised your voice at him, yelling with desperation. Shoyo looked at you in the eyes, telling you everything you needed to know. 

“Oh my god.”

Your grip on his wrist loosened 

“This was all a dare, wasn’t it?”

Everything stopped. It was like the world slowed for a moment, allowing you to take in the pang of hurt that struck your chest. 

“I’m sorry y/n.” He averted his eyes from you, which hurt more than him looking you in the eyes. A mixture of anger, humiliation, and sadness brewed in your stomach. 

“Who.” You asked, balling up your fists. Tears began to pool in your eyes. “Who put you up to this?!” You yelled, choking on a sob. 

A moment of silence lingered.

“Kageyama and Tanaka.” 

Of course they did it. They always seemed embarrassed by you when you stuck around the gym to bike home with Hinata.

You unballed your fists, letting your arms slump to the side of you. Tears streamed down your face, blending in with the rain. 

“I just wanted to like me Shoyo.” You said, looking at the top of Hinata’s head. He stared at the floor, refusing to even look you in the eyes.

Wordlessly, you ran to your bike, getting on as quickly as you could. From the corners of your eyes, you could see Kageyama and Tanaka come out from behind a wall, laughing at whatever they found funny. 

You didn’t care.   
You couldn’t bother to care about what they caught on camera.  
All you cared about was learning to unlove the shitty middle spiker who broke your heart.


	6. UPDATES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just fic updates

Hello everyone! I hope you're all doing good.

It is apparent that I have not posted a story in quite some time, and i'd like to apologize.

I know I do not owe it to anyone, but I really like seeing your comments and your interaction, makes my sophie heart happy. <3

So, currently, the reason the next chapter is taking so long is solely due to my life being hectic and my mental health being fragile.

Of course, this series is sad fics, and it kinda takes a tole when you're already not doing great in the ol' noggin.

DO NOT FRET!!!

I have a fic in the works! without spoiling it, it's my sugawara fic. So suga simps, get ready to be sad lol.

Damn You! is also getting a new chapter! alot of my stuffs just in the works, but i wanted to come on and chat w/ you all

all the love- sophieojiro


	7. Prolonged Partners-Ukai x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> me??? posting a fic??? after like 4 months??? unheard of. yeah sorry yall im clinically depressed and that creativity bell really never rings. so this fic is shorter, and inspired by my parents <3 <3 <3 enjoy!

“You are SO fucking selfish!” 

The slam of Keishin’s keys was a familiar sound. You two had been not so happily married for the past three years, painfully stuck in a rut of the same stupid fights.

“Oh I’m the selfish one?” You jabbed a finger into your chest. “I just wanted you to come home, Keishin.” A scoff escaped your lips, alongside the shake of your head. 

For the fourth time this week, dinner had been abandoned on the table. Ukai had supplied you with another lousy excuse as to why he came home late yet again. It was old, repeatedly tiring.

“Your shift ended at fucking five!!!” Your scream was accompanied with his angered stare, the press of his tongue against his cheek. Ukai’s gaze was equivalent to a brassy knuckle slamming into your sore face. He didn’t have to speak to hurt you, he knew that.

“God,” Keishin rubbed his temples. “Get over yourself y/n! I told you already, I was at the store, working. Something you clearly don’t do.”

He eyed the shared apartment, the minimal amount of trash. Humiliation sunk into your skin. You were trying. Trying to make the bleak relationship work, the failing marriage into something salvageable. 

Maybe Ukai did really love you at some time or another. But it was painfully clear that he didn’t look at you with admiration anymore. He slept around, you could tell. His scent, his messy clothes. It was so shittily hidden.

God forbid Ukai even touch you anymore. His attempts at anything remotely sexual were completely passionless, comparable to a doctors exam. And the way he looked at you? Utterly bored. Date nights and surprises were no more. Neither of you made much attempt at igniting a fire that had been burnt out in what most people would consider too long.

“Am I under house arrest here? News flash y/n, I’m not a fucking prisoner!” The slam of his fist on the coffee table sent a flinch your way. This was ridiculous. You balled up your fists, looking at him. You harshly swallowed.

“I just wanted you to eat with me, Keishin.” The tremble of your bottom lip was so embarrassing. Tears threatened to spill out of your eyes, but you didn’t dare let him see you that vulnerable. “Is that too much to ask?”

Ukai interlaced his fingers, looking down at the floor. The anger residing in him was nothing less than terrifying. He sat on your couch silently, mulling over which degrading phrase to shout at you next. 

“Maybe it is too much to ask, y/n.” His voice was laced with venom, poisonous and sharp. Ukai looked up to meet your eyes. “It’s not like anything is keeping us together, right. I just stick with you because I know your slutty ass would never be able to recover if I left you.” 

You tried to speak, but his loud, booming voice cut off any noise that dared to leave your mouth.

“I’m a fucking adult! I don’t need a babysitter, or a goddamn stalker for that matter.” Keishin pulled off his wedding ring, throwing it down onto the floor. These tears weren’t preventable. You brought your hands up to your face, sobbing. 

It was almost like Ukai was steaming. His guards were so high, so strong. Even after all that time, he never let them down. Never let you in.

The weight of the room was unbearable, suffocating. The only audible noise was your hefty, muffled cries and Ukai’s heavy breathing.   
This is how your marriage was. And by the looks of the track record, this was how it’d stay. He never left you, you never dared to fall out of line.

Keishin Ukai was a good man, somewhere in there.

Hiding your teary face, you sat down next to him. His hands, the ones that never dared to caress you the way they used to, rubbed your back.

A performative form of affection, solely to lessen the blow. Keishin didn’t love you. Not anymore, possibly never.

“I-I’m sorry-” You choked out between gasps, a scratchy throat accompanying your shaking body. Ukai rubbed slow circles against your back. 

“It’s alright, baby.” His voice was soft yet empty, gentle yet barren. And so it would continue. The insufferable cycle of stolen kisses, empty beds, and two lonely people finding ways to settle with each other for the sake of keeping life simple.


End file.
